There is a point in the process of loss when crying begins to hurt. Skin chafes, eyes burn, and the body weakly dwindles in emotional collapse. The pain that began the sadness reverses so the sadness causes pain. Crying becomes dying. The inner becomes outer, we pull ourselves inside out with total desolation. Our lungs fail us, breathing is ragged and jagged and we fall to the ground. Muscles refuse, limbs shake in convulsion. Our hands hold our heads together as we wonder how we will ever continue. Time hurls itself backwards to memories and forwards to plans. Goodbye to it all, goodbye.

Maybe we were never made to feel pain as devastating as this. Or perhaps this is when we shed our bodies, stop being men and start being gods.